Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
