i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
