Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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