Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She needs sedatives and a leash
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
