Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
