he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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