I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think my vagina is haunted
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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