Who wears a wallet chain?!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
