the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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