she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
