we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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