You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
