Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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