In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
