I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
