I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
well you can't waste a boner
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
