Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
