apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
