the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
