why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
