I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
