you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
