using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
