Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
