People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
