I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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