Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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