That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
