She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
