I wish I only lived at night.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
