I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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