we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
