Small penises have feelings too.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
