someone get that fucking seahorse.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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