What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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