We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
