Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
