Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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