Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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