I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
