Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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