I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
