Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
