We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
