There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
