party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
