mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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