i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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