I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
