every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
