I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
